Oct
16
Where Did That Sock Come From?
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As I prepared myself for work, I looked into my sock drawer to get a pair of black socks. I wasn’t sure if there was actually a pair there though, as my bag of laundry has grown quite large. As the drawer creeped open, I could see at least 4 distinct black socks. “Oh good”, I thought, “I have a pair for tomorrow too”.
I reached in for two of the socks, trying to put them on quickly since I have to get to work soon. Unfortunately, they weren’t from the same set of socks. “Ah well,” I thought, “I guess I only have one pair after all”. Since this is a pretty common occurrence, I reached in for another sock, hoping to find one that matches. I was disappointed once again, as it’s a sock from yet another set.
“Well, no big deal,” I thought, “I only had one pair to wear anyway”. Since I’d only purchased 3 different types of black socks, I knew I had at least a pair in there. I reached in hurriedly, since enough time had already been wasted on finding 3 socks that don’t match. I put the sock I just took out next to each of the other ones absentmindedly, to see which ones made a set. For some reason, it didn’t seem match any of them! I must’ve made a mistake… so I concentrated harder on matching the socks. Hmmm, still none of them matched. My attention snapped to focus on the sock I’m holding in my hand, and the realization started to dawn on me – this isn’t my sock!!!
I think I’ll have to term this the “Lost Sock Phenomenon”. It doesn’t seem to happen with my clothes, or underwear, or other things. Maybe it’s because I have been losing these too and I just don’t notice. Although, I don’t seem to recall a single instance where I wanted to find a shirt that I’ve worn before and think, “Hey, where did that shirt go?”
It’s just kind of amazing to me how this happens though. I check that the washer/dryer is empty before I put my clothes in. I check that they’re empty after I take my clothes out. I look around to see that I haven’t dropped anything. When I find socks to wear, I always take two matching ones.
So where do my socks go?? More importantly, how does somebody else’s sock get into my drawer?? Does someone come by during the drying cycle and think, “Hmmm, I need a better black sock”, and then take a sock? And later, haunted by a guilty conscience, they come back and put a smaller one back in? Then, loving their new black sock, they act on their uncontrollable urge to take one of each of the other types also? Who knows, people can be weird 
Or perhaps, we are traveling between parallel dimensions constantly and somehow, my other selves just kind of suck at keeping track of their black socks. They lose them in their dimension, I move over, and I’m stuck with 4 unmatching socks. If I ever meet them, they’re gonna get an ass whopping!!
Or maybe black socks are just alive and they’re like, “Let’s get outta here!!”
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